She Knows

After she died I was left all alone…I had time to think about her in ways I never did before.  The way her curves looked in her jeans, the morning sun glistening off her freshly washed face, or her hair that was almost gone still looked perfect to me.  Did she know how much I loved her?  Did I do enough to let her know I cared?  Was I kind enough, strong enough, and quiet enough to hear her every word?

She knows.

In the days and weeks that passed I worried about every little thing I ever did, said, could have done or never did while she was alive.  I constantly cried and told her, “I’m sorry” for the smallest of infractions.  I wondered if she could hear my cries and understand how much I miss her?

She knows.

There were days I would try to forget and couldn’t…Her essence was on everything.  I wondered if the noises in the house were from her, stumbling and looking for me or the cat.  I imagined her watching me cry myself to sleep and hearing me talk to her and softly pat her side of the bed…I wondered if she knew?

She knows.

Months have passed and days grow longer without her but the pain ebbs and flows like the tide.  Just when I feel days are better, I walk through a room and smell her beautiful perfume.  I would always tell her that if I ever got lost, her beautiful scent would guide me home.  I wonder if she knows?

She knows.

When I write, her soul is in almost every word.  She guides me as she sits inside my heart pulling the strings that go to my fingers.  I wonder if she sees the paintings inspired by her beauty or the words I write inspired by her life?  Does she know how much I miss her?

She knows.

2 comments

  1. Yes yes yes she knows she loved you so much and you loved her so much I am thankful you were there for her I miss her every single day ❤️

    Like

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