I have reached the end. This week has been a milestone…Turning through the pages of time in what lead to the creation of this blog and all of its contents has been nothing less than a roller coaster. Mourning the life and death of my wife has been without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever endured.
But this week marks a new time.
Not that I’m changing my life or meeting anyone new but I have reached that moment where acceptance and memory converge. I have begun to write a book on mourning and how a man manages his emotions after the loss of a spouse. I knew when that time came it would mean a new phase has begun.
She still whispers.
Her voice still fills my ears while tears fall and I don’t expect that will ever not be a thing. My life was golden with her in it, and even though I know she is no longer in pain, I wouldn’t want her to spend another day here to prolong it just so I could be selfish. She was a warrior who endured more than I ever could.
The memory of her will go on.
In every word that I have written and each brush stroke of a painting that I have completed over the last eight months has had her in mind. I will still write and paint while the memories hold so much power. Over time I’m sure these things will change but not due to forgetfulness but due to her life moving to other parts of mine.
The corners never end.
In the process of mourning there are so many corners that you begin to wonder what kind of torture machine did you walk into? Life promises us this much…that for a time it is going to suck the life out of you. There are no cheat codes, coupons, or mulligans and if you can manage to keep it all together, life will open other doors. But you have to be receptive of the choice to change.
Thank you all and thank you to those who have helped along the way. Wendy was loved by so many and she loved the life she was able to live. We must now look at her life through a prism…where we hold it just right and see the rainbow. She would want us all to live a great life and do the things that make us happy.
R.I.P. Wendy — We love and miss you very much
***So this will be the last entry on this part of my blog. Other pages will be created and other writings will be completed and while this has been a way for me to heal it has also helped others along the way. May our journey continue.***